10 things to do when you're on the toilet pot

Now you're wondering why such a topic? Simply because toilet humour is one of the best :D and I can go on and on and on about such humour. But today I'll restrict myself to 10 points only. More on such humour coming soon. :)


1) Read : Reading is the best passtime according to me. Take some newspapers in there, some magazines. Have a book collection just to the bathroom time, make a cupboard for books specially in the bathroom. Since you spend atleast half an hour a day in the toilet, read and read! You'll never know the time's passing so quickly.


2) TV on the go : Have an mobile internet 3g connection? Or a small tv you've never really cared about and it's lying untouched in the basement? Well then it's a good time to get it back and use it! If you have internet connection on your mobile then why not watch tv! Great idea isn't it? But keep in mind that costs as well :P. And the mobile shouldn't slip out of your hands, otherwise the flush will do it's work.


3) Facebooking : This point should've been on the top I feel. The instant reply to 'time pass' is always facebook. It seems facebook was invented to kill time in between your work. So if you have wifi connection or mobile internet connection, since you have that free time, logon to facebook and connect with your buddies. 
P.S: Don't forget to write a status update, but don't mention where you are!


4) Stare : Do you have a big mirror on the wall in the toilet? Is it directly opposite your toilet pot? Since you can see yourself then, keep looking at yourself and I am 100% sure you'll discover something about yourself. If not that, you'll definitely wonder how the hairstyle has been looking on you, or how many spots you have etc etc. Well it's a great way to ponder over your shortcomings.


5) Gaming : A great way to exercise your gaming skills, carry your mobile phone/music player/psp or other portable gaming devices and start the journey! It's very interesting, because you'll never really get to know when you're done pottying. Plus you'll also learn some new move, or reach a new level. If you don't have a gaming device, go get one! 


6) Shave : OK people, don't frown upon this one. Yes it's true guys have to shave but they don't. So for the guys it's a great time to shave, since you're only sitting on the pot and waiting for it to get over. AH! save your time and shave and look more sophisticated! :P


7) Write a blog post : Carry your laptop in the toilet, it's not a big deal. Okay, if you have a tablet then carry that no problem. Open blogger and start blogging, blog about how much fun it is to poop at that time of that day, how much relief it brings you, where it's constipation or loose. Whatever! write just about anything, you know it'll attract people because disgusting things are just funny!


8) Tweet : Twitter is an evergrowing networking site. Feeling sad in the toilet? Tweet. Feeling bored? Tweet. Happy? tweet. Angry? tweet. Tired? Tweet. Obviously you would be tired. After all shitting is not an easy task. ;)


9) Ponder : Think about how your life could've been had you done that? How you would have ended up had to taken that path? How you ended up in the toilet when you had to do some work? Why this toilet is so small? Why am I thinking about toilets only? Why is there no landline phone in the toilet? Why does the toilet stink so much? WHY? HOW? WHEN? WHERE? WHAT? yea just keep asking yourself.


10) Take your music instrument inside : last but not the least, you can always practise the instrument you like to play. If not that, then listen to songs you like. Atleast I do that sometimes. Though I wish I could take my drums inside. But nevermind, I know people who take guitar inside and practise. :D It's worth the time.

Few stupid ones, few true ones, few just lame ones. But all can be used to pass time when you're alone in a commode. Enjoy then :D

Money is all we need!

Have you ever wondered why we earn so much? To show off our spendings? To show others what a lavish lifestyle we have? NO! Duh no! Even a kid can answer that. Think again.
Atleast I've been living just to earn money and live my life without any hassles. To live till I die without troubles and enjoy it whichever way I want. I mean that's the sole purpose we're living for. Often do I think, WHY THE HELL AM I STUDYING? Sadly, the only answer I get is to earn money. AAAARGH! Why does everything boil down to money? :(
I want to buy chips, I need money. I need to buy maggi , I need money. Chocolates, money. Ice cream, money. Playstation, money. Phone, money. So bugging! Why can't I just get something in return of maybe my socks or my hankies or my hair or something. Why freakin' money all the time! :\

'Tu paisa paisa karti hai kyun paise pe tu marti hai", a stupid line from some stupid hindi film which is kinda stuck in my head. Again money! HUH! I just don't get it. Btw, paisa=money. BAH! whatever. Not like I am dying for money. I am good enough till i work. :) Thanks to my parents for supporting me. I have no intentions of working for myself, I don't want to grow up and earn. I just want to live life this way, my parents supporting me :P.

I should earn money? But why should I earn it now? I'm only 19, yes 19 ONLY! I have no house of my own, nothing to look after. However I have a neverending crazy craving list which i want to fulfil. But i can do that later as well, when i earn. But i want it now :( AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Ok calm down. I can do some internship/training to get money. But why should I earn at this age! AAAHHH! bah! This sucks. I am  so not working right now, it's just too much for a kid to work at such a small age. Yes! I AM A KID!

I wish I could work or get money. Or I wish things weren't related to money. Then I would have a lot to exchange for :P WHY IS THE WORLD NOT FAIR TO KIDS! :|

Some quit drugs, Some quit smoking, Some quit facebooking.

Facebook, something that started in 2004. Not really what we needed, but what the hell! Who doesn't mind socialising once in a while? Mark Zuckerberg was brainy enough to understand this and result of that you got "Facebook". I joined facebook in 2008, before which I was on Orkut and hi5. Hi5 being one of the most boring socializing site ever! Orkut was kind of good, but then it didn't offer much privacy. Then came the leader which attracted everyone, nearly everyone.

It's been two and a half years on facebook, and surprisingly I'm not really bored of it. Instant urge to view what's going on in someone's life, what's his/her relationship status, what's he joining now? It's all on facebook, thankfully only to few friends. Facebook grew as a networking site for reconnecting with your long lost friends and making new ones. However now that we see it, it's changed the way we people live completely!

I have to agree, I log on to facebook every 2-3 hours to check for any notifications and for something new. It's like my friends' life is open in front of me, for free mind you. ;) Facebook is being used everywhere, either to reconnect with friends, to arrange parties and send invitations, to wish someone for something, to show off in some cases, to grow a fan club/group, to hold competitions and for popularity. Even this blog post can be shown to people by connecting it to facebook, right?

Facebook, like certain stuff has become a part of our lives, and we have to accept it. It's a great medium to explore, learn and utilize time. Oh yes! It definitely kills time.

Now coming to the negative aspects, It's got some serious side effects. Teenagers have started feeling withdrawl symptoms, something they feel due to consumption of fast food or drugs too for that matter. Impatience has started creeping over our minds, not for one minute can we stay still and think what we have to do next. Facebook has become the ultimate time killer, which was once not even important for us. Spending less time with your family, watching less television, reading lesser books etc have all been the side effects of over usage of facebook. Facebook HAS become a drug for us, and we are addicts, agreed? It's like now we're so screwed we have to get off facebook! Yea that feeling sucks, and it takes time I guess. Atleast that's why I'm trying to distract myself from facebook :P.

So are you an addict? Or are the non-socializing one? Or you don't really need facebook to socialize? I have friends from each category, I don't hesitate to say that I am from the first category. In fact why should I? Did eminem hesitate to say he used to smoke weed? Did any of the goth singers ever hesitate to say they're addicted to marijuana? No right! Let it be, I'll overcome facebook one day for sure :P Once I do, I'll blog about it. Wait for it!

Encounter with the King- Ipad 2

Before I say anything, I'd only love to applaud for Steve Jobs for even thinking of such a product, which was kind of redundant few years ago and infact before the release of first ipad, no one really cared if it existed or not.

NOW! YES! It's the ohmygodsofreakingamazing iPAD-2! The godly thing according to me. It's got nearly everything my laptop does, only a better OS( I love iOS). After using an ipod touch for nearly a year, I was immensely satisfied and happy with it. However, it didn't fill my thirst of trying out new stuff. Heard Ipad 2 is coming to India. WOOHOO! It was a shocker because Iphone 4 still hasn't been released in India which was released worldwise last year, where as Ipad2 is coming to India within two months prior to it's worldwide launch. The only, literally, good news this year for me. :)

Finally, the day comes(saturday and a holiday) and I'm all set to test the new kid on the block. Well, not really the new kid but somewhat a newer version. This thing is so thin! It just goes on to show how Apple is trying to constantly bring something new with every product of their's. It's amazingly thin! Thinner that my phone(BAH!) and definitely gives me a complex(sigh!).

I unlock the screen and get lost in the world of iOS. The newest iOS 4.3, with some improvements over iOS 4.2 adorned the new tablet, with exciting new features. Compared to older Ipad, this one has dual cameras( front VGA and rear 2MP with HD video recording!! ) and a new A5 processor that does justice to the price. It is also available in white colour. It does facetime very well, the clarity could've been better i think. The tablets not coming in the market from other companies have rear camera even 5MP and front 2MP. The big 9.7" screen is perfect for a tablet. It just feels SO NICE in your hands, seems like it was made specifically for it :P.

Running apps on it was a joyride, no hassles at all! Obviously the newer processor is a tad faster, but overall doesn't give you a 'NEW' feel. Even the older Ipad did the job well without any complaints. But then, who doesn't like speed in this world? Though my encounter was for a brief period of time, it didn't let me stay away from it for long. Next week, I was again at the same place doing the same stuff another time to just enjoy the Ipad2.

All said, I really loved the Ipad2, and one thing which attracted me was the flap on cover which locks your Ipad2 automatically when put over the screen and unlocks it automatically when pulled back. It can even form a small stand and it's very stylish. Apple, known for it's innovations, never lets anyone down.

If you have 30,000 bucks and want to buy a tablet, look no further matey! This is the one for you, does the job without complaining, infact is even a good portable thing. Wish i had enough money to buy one, so I shall buy one in dreams and enjoy! :D

Fake, Plastic people. We are.

As the title suggests, I'm going to yack about how fake people are and how plastic people act in front of others, knowing everything exactly how the person feels about the third person. Well NO! I'm not going to write the same shit what everybody's writing. I'll write about how plastic I've been and related to that, how others are in front of me.

It's been some odd million days(seems so) since I've been born, and some odd 19 years since I've been pestering my parents and friends. I won't bore you with my life, coz frankly my journey has been pretty normal and no shocks or surprises as such, well apart from few which are not worth mentioning ;). So back to the point, fake people. Right! what about them? Well they are everywhere no? I mean I am sure you all must have felt low coz at some point or the other your friends have not respected you, your decisions, not been with you when you needed them and not displayed themselves as they claim to be. As for the last sentence, I am sure it'll relate to almost everyone. Now one thing, I am also fake, but in some ways. I think we should all agree that to some extent, we are FAKE! Yes, we don't act the way we should, we hide our feelings, we show what we are not. Why? Just to be in good books of the person, to get maximum output with minimum input? To show them that you care, however inside you're all devil and you just want to benefit in any possible way.

I have been fake at times, I agree, but not at the cost of causing some problem. Though the degree of my 'fake-ness' isn't for sure as much as the people around me. I am quite a 'in your face' person, be it through jokes or teasing or just general leisure talks. I don't really care what the other person feels, but truth must be told. It's like from outside you see a really good building, and inside when you enter you see dust and broken glasses and broken furniture. Is that what really some people try to be? Coz truth be, they'll show their true self in no time, leaving you sad and shocked. So, as I was talking about myself, I have been fake to some people. No regrets, for the same has been carried out by them. But for those who didn't, sorry to them.

There was a huge transition from school to college. In school it was all happy and you had great friends, some fake ones but their intensity was nothing to fear. Once you step into college, it's like everything's upside down. You start getting negative vibes all of a sudden, like everyone's ready to pounce on you. People become more and more fake, and less friendly. It's like you're stuck in a well, constantly trying to find a way out of it, however failing innumerable times. Atleast that's how college has treated me. And so have i heard from many people, " College mein 50% friends are fake, and out of the rest , 30% are friends but only for some amount of time." I am happy the rest 20% are atleast there. Phew! :D

Now, some people who have tried acting smart with me, like "Hey! how're you doing?" instead of "The jackass is back dammit!" have shown their true self and it was then I realised the world is not as it seems. It's got people, trying to benefit from you, getting into your good books just to reach the destination before you. They act like best friends, or rather good friends most of the times, leaving your mouth as big as probably the Sun and full of anger and sadness at the same time. Why would he do that? What did she get by doing that? Why me of all others? Why is he sticking to her now? etc etc have popped in minds of those being used by so called 'friends'.

My message to all the fakers: Please, do not follow 'fake it till you make it' at areas where they are not supposed to be used, coz then you're going to make enemies and that's it. Peace out! Be happy and spread happiness. That's the motto followed by me, and should be followed by people. I hate fake people, seriously do. I hope they all go to some horrible place and get treated the same way. Yes, that's what comes out of my mind if anything similar happens.

Love this line, said by Kurt Cobain:

“I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.”

What did you think of this post? Any similarities with your life? Not agreeing to most of the part? Feeling it's been exaggerated? Well then that's your opinion, coz mine will certainly still be the same.

Cravings. Part 2

Finally comes the second part to the 'cravings' family of posts. Finally because it has come after a Loooooooooooong time, stressing on long. Longer than even Ram and Sita's Banwas(spelt it right?). Though it's not the final one. Not very sure, really, what to write here, coz my cravings have just gotten bigger and better and fatter(literally) and more mature, yet still having the same old roots. Here goes :

6) Nutella- I am a die hard fan of Nutella. Period. Have always had this weird craving for infinite chocolate spread. TADA! In 2000 came this tiny bottle of Nutella from Singapore, my first ever 'lovely' gift from abroad. And now that I think of it, that little bottle wasn't enough for my pacific ocean equivalent stomach. Now, anyone asking me for 'stuff' from abroad, I immediately reply without even thinking, 5-6 bottles of Nutella :P. What a TASTE! With bread, roti, ice cream, coffee.. anything! Okay I can go on and on about this but let's just end this by saying,It's my FAVOURITE CHOCOLATE MADE EDIBLE FOOD.

7)A huge collection of PC games. It won't come for free, rather will cost a lot, but I'd love to own a huge pile of PC games, so that i can go like " ummmm I want to play this one, errr no this one.. umm okay wait! I'll play all 3:) ". Obviously here money will buy happiness and satisfaction and a little confusion but worth the interest and time pass.

8)Bucket full of Apples! Bucket shall be the size of Qutab Minar. I am not kidding, I love apples and can actually eat 10 a day. No kidding. Oh wait! Pineapple too included, but not as much as apples. Though pineapple has an 'apple' in it, but it can't fill apple's place :). And guess what! Loving Apple phrase is ambiguous. Keep yourself busy with it ;).

9)My own car. YES! Would love to own the ultimate automobile. Automobile sounds just way too cooler than a 'car'. HUH! What's in a car? start with c and immediately, before you know it ends with r. Automobile, sounds really cool coz it's 'mobile' pronounced as 'mobeel' making it sound waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cooler. Anyway, I'd love to own an automobile, even if not an expensive one, but one that atleast does the job :D. That is, cutting my travelling time from college to Home and vice versa and easing the job of finding bus and metro on time.

10)A blog where i could earn money :P. Lame thing to crave for, but who doesn't like an extra side income adding to your salary? Believe me, Half of us are here to earn money in some or the other way. By here i mean on internet. So does our search end on adsense? NA! Though i'm quite unsure as to who will click on the ads for me anyway. lol :P. But i guess i'll go ahead and put adsense on my blog. Any clicks on it, and I'll be more than honoured!

5 Cravings for today, not as exciting as before, but definitely from the bottom of my body(lol). I've been thinking of fulfilling atleast one of the above cravings. Let's see if the impossible will happen. More cravings coming soon(soon = any time i want to write, My blog My choice My rule) :P.

I am LOST! :S

After a year approximately, i've set my eyes on my OWN blog. Shameful isn't it? Yes, I agree. But i guess thanks to all the distractions this blog was just distancing itself from me. Or wait! the other way round, is it? See i'm confused. Bah! Distractions are like love and hate things, you love to get distracted for some time, but you hate it once you realise the time you have spent wasting is something you never wanted to end up with. But whatever, you're still happy with the fact and you killed time. HA! yes you killed time, be it for some odd 2-3 hours, but you ended up being the winner. Another thing, distractions only make you deviate from the actual path, leading you to an alternate path with even more interesting results, however making you guilty at the end for not following the old path. Also, how would you have not known about the other path until you had not got distracted? SEE! there is a good side and a bad side of everything.

I don't say i don't have a bad side, it's just that i keep it under control, and the true devil inside me comes out only if triggered in the wrong way, by the wrong people, at the wrong time. The good side of me possesses around 80% of me, thanks to the happy people around me and happy thoughts :D though i guess i can thank my optimistic attitude, "I don't give a damn about what other's think" attitude and "I'm just a KID dude" attitude. The latter one being more prominent, as to what people say :P. I've tried maturing, BUT! yes BUT! to almost everything there is a but. I hate this word BUT! It sounds funny, it can even be wrongly mistaken as 'BUTT' which is exactly what makes 'BUT' funny. Too much of speaking 'BUT' is making the word sound awkward. Unlike others, I don't use a bloody dictionary or heavy words to fill my sentences. I feel writing should be free, I mean it should show what you are, and not what you know.

Critics are always good in my opinion, though they screw up your mood, but what the hell! Go to sleep, get up the next morning and you won't even think of critics. Thank you 'sleep' for that :). I have always been thanking sleep for making me forget anger, anxiety, horror and all emotions that had made my day go haywire.

NOW! I have no idea where this post is going, I'm lost. I think I should just stop now. Time taken to write this? 7 minutes! Yes, I know what you're thinking. That I'm bluffing, but I'm not. I guess this was the reason why i never really got much marks in my english exams. I was too bored to wait and think and write stuff. According to me, it's about just blurting your thoughts on the keyboard through your fingers.

Right! so this post isn't frankly going anywhere, must end it. See i'm so lost. Exams coming up in a couple of weeks. Sadly I have not even opened any of the books. Oh wait! I haven't even bought all the books :P. Sorry for not completing certain sentences, because probably somewhere i got lost :S. Love the smileys, they just explain my mood so well :D. And do wait some more posts, on random stuff. YO!

P.S.- another reason for not getting marks in english was probably for never even reading my answer again. Same goes here, not reading my post before publishing it ;). Keep it natural silly, and ignore the mistakes.